Funny Jokes About a Woman Aging
Few women admit their age; few men act it.
Son, when I was your age there was no social media.
You had to go to a bar and buy endless drinks to be ignored by multiple women.
I like my women like I like my scotch
Aged thirteen years in an oak barrel.
I like my women like I like my rum...
Aged 12 years and mixed up in coke.
They say it's rude to ask a women's age...
So what's your weight?
How does that heaven joke go?
Ages ago, I read this joke about a man dying, and as he ascends the pearly staircase, increasingly attractive women with increasingly large amounts of gold urge him a level higher for some really promising reward. Eventually, he reaches the top, and there's a man who makes Jabba the Hutt look like a sex god, and his name is some kind of sexual pun on the earlier promise.
I just can't for the life of me remember the specifics of the joke. Has anyone else heard it?
Sherlock Holmes has been caught up in a pedophile scandal.
Dr Watson asked him: "In your experience, at what age are women at their peak in the bedroom?"
Holmes replied: "Elementary, my dear Watson."
I agree
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold soda.
The day was really quite beautiful,
and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about the age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful
than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another soda, and some heavy deductive thinking,
I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby;
and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say,
"It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats
This is known as many paws
Two women meet over a coffee.
"Ah, Marie, I haven't seen you in years, what's going on in your life?"
"I have met a charming and well-off young man half my age."
"Majestic."
"Indeed. He took me to Paris, we dined in the finest restaurant, bought paintings from the vernissage!"
"Majestic!"
"Once we marry, he insists that I retire to our moderately sized European house, free to pursue my leisure activities."
"Definitely majestic!"
"But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Annette. What are you up to lately?"
"I signed for an etiquette class. We've already learned to say 'majestic' instead of 'fucking horseshit'"
Women age like fine wines...
The older they get, the harder they are to come by.
You can explore women of age feminine reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean women of age mia dad jokes. There are also women of age puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I took my grandfather to the mall the other day
While circling the lot trying to find a place to park, he said out of nowhere "These spots are like the women my age"
I looked at him blankly.
"They're all taken or handicapped!"
I like my women like I like my whiskey...
Aged 12 years.
Women and Wine
I like my women like my wine, aging in the cellar.
Women age like fine wine...
In my basement
Which hurts worse: a kick in the nuts, or having a baby?
This has been a debate over the ages: which hurts worse, getting a swift kick to the nuts or birthing a child. It's kind of hard to say since men and women are quite different creatures, but I have noticed something. If a woman goes through childbirth, sometimes a year or so later, she'll ask to have another baby. However, a man who has taken a kick to the jewels...
A man and his wife were watching Family Feud...
When this question came up:
"What age do women stop looking for Mr.Perfect and settle for Mr.Okay?"
"25!" his wife shouted.
"What, that's crazy!" the man argued.
"Well that's when I married you."
What phrase do both pedophiles and middle aged women say?
"Age is just a number"
I like my women like I like my wine...
Rich, aged, and full-bodied.
When it comes to age, women are a lot like wine.
I mean, who doesn't love 16 year-old wine.
I like my women like I like my board games...
Ages 7-99.
I like my wine how I like my women
Perfectly aged with a full body.
Women are like grapes.
Some age like fine wine.
Some age like raisins.
I like my whisky like I like my women
Aged 12 years in a cellar.
I like my women like I like my puzzles.
Ages 3-5
My taste in women is much like my taste in wine
Right now i like them younger, sweeter, and prettier. As i age, i start to like them older, more bitter, and contributing to my alcoholism.
Two guys looking at a pretty 40 year old woman
-- Women...Don't they age like a fine wine on a summer time
-- I don't know dude, mine ages like milk
My friend told he was always chasing girls in the 90's...
Nowadays he dates women that are closer to his own age.
I heard married women sometimes grow an appendage out of their back side as they age.
Maybe it's just an old wives tail.
As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking
Are you my tinder date?
I like my women like my rum
Aged 13 years and swimming in coke
Disclaimer: This is a joke! I do NOT condone mixing rum and coke!
More and more married women are being diagnosed with aged vacuum disease
They start making strange noises all the time and don't suck any more
I like my women like I like my Scotch
Preferably aged 18 years but I could settle for 12
From former prime minister of Italy : Have you heard about the survey? They asked women aged between 20 and 30 whether they'd make love to Berlusconi."
"....33 percent of them said 'yes' and 67 percent said 'again?'
Two middle aged women are in Boston's fish market on Friday.
"I come here every Friday to get scrod!"
"I do too, but I didn't know it has a past tense."
If a women is under the age of 90 she's
Acutie, if shes 90 she's just right.
I am starting a club for middle aged women to gather and find younger men to take home and make love to in front of their husbands.
I'll call it, the Coug Cucks Clan.
I like my women how I like my scotch,
Aged 18 years and mixed with a little coke.
When women get to a certain age they begin to accumulate cats
This is known as many paws.
I like my Wine like i like my Women
White and well aged.
Stone age productivity
Productivity was low during stone age because women roamed around naked.
When women hit a certain age they start to collect lots of cats.
Otherwise known as the many-paws.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 10 and locked in the celler.
I like my women like I like my cheese...
Aged, White, and Covered in holes.
George Burns
In his later years, the comedian George Burns was being interviewed by a shapely female journalist.
FJ: Mr. Burns, is it true that at your age, you still smoke six cigars every day?
GB: (eyes downcast) Yes, it's true.
FJ: And is it true you drink 3 or 4 martinis every day?
GB: Yes, that's true.
FJ: And is it true that you still chase after women half your age?
GB: Yes, I do.
FJ: What does your doctor have to say about all this?
GB: He's dead.
How do you measure the obnoxiousness of middle-aged white women?
In degrees Karenheit.
When women get to a certain age, they start collecting cats.....
This is known as the many paws.
Ageism joke
A son asks his father: How do women age?
The father answers:" Women age just like onions, son. They bloat with each year, until they start to stink like a spoiled, rotten, onion."
The wife hears and tells the son:" That's nothing! Men age like Christmas trees. First they loose the leafs, then the balls fall off."
Source: https://jokojokes.com/women-of-age-jokes.html
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